Dodu Asked: What to do now? Falling in love with another woman.?

Someone I met on a local music scene, ;et's call her 'M' gave me their CD as a musician and then started emailing me. We met and chatted lots, exchanged beautiful emails and she told me that she really liked me and felt an amazing connection, that I'd inspired her to write a song. We met in private at her home and the inevitable happened. I stayed overnight. We both agreed it was wonderful and I have to admit I was completely smitten. Absolutely. She sang me her songs, we made love , it was just perfect.
However, the next time we met(she implored me to come) I felt like a spare part. M was playing her music at an open mic and I was singing. Her singing partner froze me out and made told M with me that I had 'confronted her' in the toilets and made her feel awkward. I was told off by M the next day for 'intruding on her music and social life'and making her feel trapped and awkward.
I had thought I could talk to her singing partner, seeing as M had told me that they'd discussed what was happening between us. I said hello and asked how she was that ' she didn't know me and I was a stranger and kind of enquired why was I addressing her, I said something about M and our mutual connection and she froze me out again. Awkward wasn't the word. I felt like some kind of lowlife , being looked down on.
The next day M told me she felt trapped and liked to keep her socialising away from her 'private life' and that I had backed her into a corner by wanting to be affectionate or sit near her and I was too 'full on'She told me that she hadn't got to the age of 52 ( I'm 38) without any successful long term relationships for a reason and that it just 'wasn't her' to do emotional commitment and she'd'told me this'That it was over and it was better for all of us because she felt pressured and her first love is music and achieving success. We talked on the phone, tearfully on my part ( trying to keep it under control though) and she started crying , telling me she'd been distressed anyway because of some sad picture of a hurt dog she'd received and the whole evening was awkward and ruined because she felt trapped. The conversation ended with her offering to meet me tomorrow ' if I could cope' because she liked me wanted to meet again as 'friends'

The thing that gets me is that SHE persued me, wooed me, charmed me with her words and now she says my responding is too full on. She told me no one can predict how things will work out but this isn't for her.

So, the question is, I love this woman and am immensely attracted to her and the intimacy we shared through songs and music and everything else… and she wants to be 'just friends' Do I need to meet her and accept that or should I sever all ties now?
The other problem is now, I feel too hurt and vulnerable to attend this regular music session, or any that she is at, it was a huge part of my social life
It needs to be added that this woman is a lesbian and I'm well.. I thought I was straight until now. I really am attracted to her, we shared so much and I really didn't expect it. I let myself go, she said I was amazing and now has told me I was too much… it's really painful.
I was purposely NOT looking for any relationship because of previous heartbreak, I told her this ( she said, I want to make love to you and take the hurt and pain away, la la la)
She did all the asking and contacting, even complaining when I didn't email for two days.When I respond, it's over.
Please help.